first ultrasound

We had our first ultrasound on Friday to confirm dates. As suspected, dates by my LMP were off some, and by the ultrasound I am actually due 1/12/09, making me 6 weeks and 4 days today. It was a little disappointing to go back in time, but in the end, nine days really makes no difference I suppose.

The wonderful thing is that we did see the baby's heartbeat--it was beating away 130 times a minute, which is expected at this stage. For any who might have been hoping for a 2-for-1 deal, sorry to disappoint, but only one baby brewing in there. You can't make out too much in the ultrasound picture above, but you can sort of distinguish head and body.

All in all, it was a very positive visit. We go back in four weeks for our next check.

Chocolate Cake and Cheetos

Well, I said I'd let you know the details of when Chris told his family about the pregnancy, but he's had a tough time remembering too many details for me. He also had a lot more to take in at one time as he told his parents, sister, and brother-in-law at once rather than with individual phone calls like I did. He told his family through a Mother's Day gift...we bought his mom a grandmother's journal to her grandchildren, and he gave her that on Friday night. From what he says, she didn't catch on initially that she'd have a grandchild to write to sooner than later, so Chris told her the rest of the gift is coming in January...pause..."Is Lesley pregnant?" I know they're excited along with us to start the next generation of Starnes'. No pressure Melissa and Jason, but first cousins have an awful lot of fun together :)

I was post-call today and starving by the time I got off at 1pm. Someone mentioned chocolate cake on rounds today, and from then on, that's all I could think of. On my way home, I stopped at Kroger to buy cake mix and frosting. It's always a bad idea to shop for groceries on an empty stomach, but I think it's even worse when you're pregnant because you have a ready made excuse for 'cravings'. I came home with an odd mixture: chocolate cake mix/frosting, coffee cake mix. blueberry muffin mix, 7up, and crunchy cheetos! I promise I'm eating fruits and vegetables too! True cravings or giving in more easily to whims? I'm not sure, but I'll tell you one thing...I'm going to have my cake and eat it too tonight!

Our next appointment is Friday for our first ultrasound. We're excited, and I think seeing our baby's heartbeat will make it all feel more real. Hopefully I can post pictures of the ultrsound here. More to come...

reactions

Well, we decided after all to tell my family last night after the OB visit. We would have called Chris' family too, but he'll be traveling to NC this weekend for his cousin's wedding, so he'll have the opportunity to tell them in person. I knew my family would be excited, but I still felt really nervous making the first few phone calls. Just to inform my immediate family required 6 different phone calls...haha! The varying reactions I got were entertaining to me, and I'm going to make some attempt to capture them here, though I know this won't do them justice.


Mom: Mom called me before dinner to tell me something quick. She was trying to let me go when I told her I have another Mother's Day gift for her. If you knew my mom, you'd know she doesn't accept gifts all that well, though she's wonderful at giving them. She immediately said something like, "Why'd you do that?!" I told her I just wanted to but explained it wouldn't be here until January. The phone got very silent for about five seconds, and then she said in a very serious tone, "Lesley, you better tell me what you mean right now!" "I'm telling you that you're going to be a grandmother." haha....then the fireworks went off. She couldn't contain her excitement, and I'm glad. I think I expected a more subdued response, though I knew she'd be excited. It was funny how she was torn between the roles of mother and grandmother...In one breath she'd be saying things like: "I don't know how you'll manage, but I'm sure you will." "You better take care of yourself" "I sure hope you don't feel bad." In the next breath she'd say, "I wish I still had that baby crib." "I didn't think I'd get to be a grandmother for years!" It was all wonderfully sweet, and I know she'll be a great grandmother, or grandma, or gran, or nana, or mawmaw, or whatever she wants to be.

Dad: Yesterday was his birthday, so I was planning to call him for that anyway. We chatted casually for a while, and then I used the same method on him. I told him I have a birthday gift for him, but it won't be in until January 3rd. Not understanding at all, he said, "What are you doing January 3rd?" I told him I might just be in labor. Then in a very hushed, serious voice, he said, "Are you pregnant?!" "Yes, Dad!" haha... Of course he was thrilled, but his reaction was one of more silent shock and awe than my mother's outbursts. It's funny because I expected them to be the opposite of each other and what they actually were. I think Dad was also a little torn at first between a fatherly concern and a grandfather's delight. He expressed concern over what I'd do about school, but when I explained that I have months saved up that I can take off, I think he felt much better about it. He said, "I was beginning to think I wasn't ever going to have grandchildren." He kept saying, "I just wish you were here so I could hug and squeeze you." There were some tears of joy mixed in there too. Sweet Dad...I'm sorry you had to wait, but I hope it will be worth it.

Lindsay: She had the advantage of actually knowing that Chris and I were trying to get pregnant. We didn't share that with everyone because we didn't want the extra pressure, and we didn't want to deal with grandparents' disappointment if it didn't happen. I think every time I've called her over the past few months, she's suspected that I was calling to announce a pregnancy. Nevertheless, I think I actually took her by surprise this time. I was pretty direct and to the point, and told her I was calling to tell her she's going to be an aunt. If I could predict anyone's reaction well, it was Lindsay's. She wanted to know every detail, and out of character for me, I was happy to oblige. I could tell she was genuinely happy and excited for us, and that meant a lot. She put Chase on the phone as well, and besides suggesting we name the baby Chase and joking that he and Lindsay would be trying for a cousin that night (sorry, had to post it), he was very sweet and sincere in his congratulations and well wishes. I just wish we could keep you two close in Nashville, but I understand both the need and desire to move on.

Jordan: I know Jordan wasn't expecting to hear any such thing from me, but he was very excited when I told him he's going to be an uncle. I think the main thing I remember him saying is, "REALLY?!?!" Poor Meagan, his fiance, has been wanting me to pick out a style for my bridesmaid dress for two weeks, but I haven't been able to because I'll be 8 months pregnant at the wedding, but I couldn't call and tell her I'll need a maternity dress until we were ready to announce the pregnancy to the whole fam. Jordan was quick to assure me that she'll definitely understand under the circumstances. We had a fun time laughing together over the rest of the family's responses.

Jared: I had a hard time getting in touch with him. I called and left a message, but I didn't want to reveal to much in the voicemail. He hadn't called me back by 9, so I called Mom to ask where he was. He was out playing basketball with friends, but he happened to call her at the same time, so she told him he needed to call me. I'm sure he was wondering what in the world was so important he had to call that night, but I know he didn't suspect what I was about to tell him in the least. I told him he's going to be an uncle, and he was stunned by excited. Jared is a man of few words, and that proved to be true this time as well. He kept saying, "I really am excited, I just don't know what to say." He then said he was going to go tell his b'ball friends, and I had to quickly explain we're just sharing it with immediate family right now.

Austin: I was going to tell Austin when I called Mom back about Jared at 9pm last night, but he was already in bed. So, I called Mom this afternoon, and Austin was at work with her (watching cartoons in a breakroom). It's pretty tough to come between Austin and cartoons, but I didn't want to put off telling him any longer. I told him he's going to be an uncle, and he said, "What do you mean?" So I told him I'm going to have a baby, and his response was a flat "oh." I asked if he wanted to be an uncle, and he said, "Not really." haha...I didn't really expect much more than that. Austin is 10 and not too interested in babies, and I imagine it's weird to him that his sister is going to have one. I'm sure he'll adjust to the idea, and I told him it's too late to take it back anyway.

I'm sad that I won't be with Chris when he tells his family. We've predicted his parents' reactions, and I'm anxious to see if we're close at all. Hopefully Chris will remember some of the details, and then I can blog about them :)

first prenatal visit

Well, we just had our first prenatal appointment. I'm just 6 weeks and 3 days, so they only did lab work at this visit and I met Dr. Peeler. I have to say I've tended to be partial to female OB/GYNs in the past, but we both really liked Dr. Peeler and he made me feel very comfortable. With the unpredictability of my schedule, I'll probably see several different docs at the clinic, but at least we're happy with our first one. We're scheduled to go back next week to have an ultrasound, hopefully see the baby's heartbeat, and confirm dates. I'm really looking forward to that. At this point, the pregnancy doesn't seem all that real. I'm still kind of hesitant to share the news with family because we have no real reassurances at this point, but I think we'll be making phone calls very soon.

On call

This week has been the slowest of my life, and tonight (Friday) I'm on call at the VA ICU wishing I were home with Chris. How funny...just as I finished typing that sentence, Chris called me! Things like that seem to happen a lot. Anyway, this week has been so strange as I've known I'm pregnant but not felt the least bit pregnant. I have to admit that I've been tempted more than once to do a second pregnancy test just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I still have the positive pregnancy test at home in the bathroom, and I compulsively look at it every time I'm in there.

I'm not sure if most women have morning sickness this early or not (5 weeks), but I've been totally nausea free. I'm so thankful for that, especially since it would make it awfully difficult to keep things a secret and I'm on a busy rotation. I guess I'd even keep this awful hormone-induced acne on my face over having morning sickness.

My first OB appointment is scheduled for next Wednesday--I'll be post-call that day, so it could be interesting. Scheduling on a post-call day was really the only way I could guarantee I could make it without having to ask off specifically for a doctors appt. It's going to be kind of early (6weeks,3days) to have an appointment, but their schedule was really limited. I'm hoping we get enough reassurance that we feel comfortable sharing the news with family.

Expanding the 'Starnes Fam'

Chris and I have been trying to get pregnant for five months, and we were THRILLED today to finally have a positive pregnancy test!! We're creating this blog so those close to us can retrospectively experience these first few exciting weeks with us once we share the news. While it's so tempting to 'shout it from the rooftop' this very second, we'd like to have our first OB visit and some assurance that our baby is okay before we emotionally involve all of you.

We're so thankful to God that He's allowed this pregnancy. We've seen many around us affected by miscarriages, so it's with that possibility in mind that we consider the future. Regardless of what happens, we trust this baby to God and His sovereignty and know He will carry us through all joys and trials.

For those of you who enjoy the details, I'll narrate a bit of our recent lives. As I said, we've been actively trying to get pregnant for five months. In my naivety, I expected to get pregnant on the first or second try and have a baby by the fall. When that didn't happen, I began to wonder if something was wrong with us. On top of that, we've felt the pressure of a limited timeline to have a baby due to the fact that I'll begin residency in June 2010. I really didn't want to start residency pregnant, and we preferred to have a child old enough for daycare by that point as well. Over time, we've simply had to surrender our desire and concerns to God and trust that His timing is perfect--much easier said than done of course.

I've lost count of how many pregnancy tests I've used in recent months. I've tended to be so anxious to know that I test earlier than I really should--when that's been negative, I waited a couple of days and tested again. One month I used a total of three tests. Needless to say, my accountant husband wanted me to refrain from testing early again because of the wasted tests in the past (and therefore wasted money).

My brother Austin has been staying with us this weekend, so I wanted to wait until we took him back home to test. On the drive home from dropping him off, we stopped at Wal-Mart and bought a 2-pack of pregnancy tests (I assumed I would need both). Chris wasn't thrilled about me doing the test today, and I admit, I had my own doubts--we made a deal that if it was negative, I'd wait another week before testing again. Glory to God!! It was positive! I couldn't believe my eyes when the second line showed up, and I stood there (shaking) at least thirty seconds thinking of how to tell Chris. In the end, I just walked in the kitchen, handed him the test and told him I wouldn't need to re-test in a week. After doing our happy dance together for a while, we settled down with the somber realization that there's no turning back and our lives will never be the same. We wouldn't go back for the world, though, and we're excited to see what the future holds!

Thanks for taking this ride with us. We look forward to sharing with you as the events of this pregnancy and our lives continue to unfold.